Today I'm overwhelmingly reminded of the things I'm not.This is not supposed to be some feel sorry for hannah thing because I'm for sure not worth that at all. I'm just feeling the need to get this all out of my head and onto paper or something like that.
I'm not normal. I can't just sit down and write and focus and be good at that stuff. I wish i didn't have to take ritalin to be as good as everybody else. I'm not an overachiever like everybody around me seems to be, and that makes me feel stupid, oh well. I wish i cared as much as they do about doing perfect on everything but I just don't. I'd rather be really good at idk not school stuff. We'll see if I am though ahah.
I'm not a wife, thats stupid i know but i'm emotional. Its not even that i want to be married or like even in a super serious relationship, its that i really miss my friends. I just wish i could have them around and take care/be taken care of by them. Just somebody who knows me super super well to be here or idk its hard to explain. Somebody i know cares about me and wants to be sitting next to me loving me as me the flawed girl that i am.
I'm not selfless, i'm not feeling beautiful right now (although i know that My Creator thinks i am 'Though Dark In You I am lovely"), i'm not humble. I'm not lots of things.
More than all of the things i'm not one stands out as most important, I'm Not ALONE. Jesus calls me back to him everyday. I wish i had some really great scripture to input here but can i just say like ummmm entire Bible. He is slowly romancing me to be His and i forget that far too quickly. I am God's Girl as I learned on that park bench in Ukraine. I'm sorry for my ramblings, and for my sounded self pity today. Its just whats in my head.
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