This Ones for YOU

So i'm not even completely sure I should write this or post it or idk. I'm going to write a letter to Vickie because I have so much to say to her and I don't know what else to do with it. This is gonna be pretty emotional i'm just warning haha. So here we go

Dear Vickie,
I know that you know I'm talking to you up there and that you hear this. You were always so good at knowing me and knowing what I was thinking. There are so many things I want to tell you about. I selfishly want you here so so bad. Its not fair that you died because Cam and Tyler and Dave and Brandon and everybody needed you. I remember driving home from the hospital with my mother, she misses you so much, and crying listening to "Abide In Me'' and "All Must Be Well". I remember the first theatre class back we had to read our shakepeare monologes for the first time and I couldn't talk, you taught me Shakespeare. Ok, here goes the rest of what I want to say...bear with me please.
I Didn't let him win. You told me I was better and needed to go have fun, needed to go and enjoy myself. I went to that dance and didn't let him affect me, granted I was thinking almost only of you at that point. I just wanted you to know I listened to you. You were always so wise, your advice meant a great deal.
I didn't give up at school, I fought for that math class and decided that Earnest didn't matter. Thank you for constantly encouraging me through those things. We did Much Ado About Nothing. Kenton and I both spend alot of time thinking of you teaching us those monoloughes. I wish I could've worked on it with you, you would have really loved it. Kenton was Benadict and Este made an amazing Don Padro. I was antonia and ursala. On our final night, we remebered how much you loved this show. Those of us who were taught by you remembered what you ahd tought us, and in our final prayer Kenton said it best for all of us "THIS ONE IS FOR YOU VICKIE" and we all cried and cheered together.
I went to Kenya in November. I wanted to tell you about it. You always understood how much I wanted save the world, even though i don't think i made a dent. I found out what I wanted to do with my life and I'm working on getting there at UGA. Thank you for always believing I could get in, I wrote about you for my entrance essay. Thank you for believing in me, and reminding me that I was not made for highschool. Whenever I felt so incredibly out of place and wrong you helped me believe I wasn't wrong, just not in the right place, and that my differences were strengths. Thank you so much.
Thank you Vickie Wonders for understanding me. Thank you for teached me to be confident in myself and what I have to say. When I stand in front of a crowd I articulate with my feet firmly planted. I do not play with my rings-no more fidgiting- and I can project my voice. All because of you, and those are the tangible things you tought me. Thank you for being a friend to my mom, she loves and misses you more than i can put in words. THank you for respecting me, I'm sure i didn't deserve it from somebody ike you and the fact that you did anyway means the world. I wish that I had run across the parkinglot that friday afternoon and hugged you, I miss that hug and that smile all the time.
You were such a light to me, alot of times when I didn't have much light. I thank God I knew you and I'm learning to be ok with the fact that He is now holding you in His amazing house, but we do miss you down here.
I love you always, never forgotten.
this was my entrance essay about her just thought i'd share it
I was privileged to know Vickie Wonders Foltz. She was my theatre teacher and director, and could make students perform in ways they never thought they could. During my sophomore year in high school, she made me play a man and wear a beard. She taught me about myself and about what it looks like to actually develop and use my gifts. On October 10, 2008 Vickie suffered a brain aneurism and died shortly thereafter. I considered her more than a teacher and trusted her with more than my performance talent. When I saw her lying in her casket, I expected her at any moment to sit up and laugh at how she had put us all through such a scare. She was one of the most alive people I knew and to see her dead will remain one of the most difficult moments in my life. Her death was real and I was struck with how finite we all are. She was a person who took life completely spontaneously. Her death was such a surprise and I am inherently uncomfortable with surprise. Vickie has worked to change that in me. It was almost as if she were intentionally teaching me about life even through her death.

Grant us Peace Jesus, Grant us Peace